


Coming Full Circle

by the_impatient_panda



Category: Babylon 5
Genre: AU, F/F, Fix-It of Sorts, Fluff, Jealousy, Post-Canon, Starting Over, feels abound
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2020-07-20
Updated: 2020-07-20
Packaged: 2021-03-05 03:41:49
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 8,449
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/25407820
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/the_impatient_panda/pseuds/the_impatient_panda
Summary: After the war, everything settles and Susan receives word from an old acquaintance she never thought to see or hear from again. One that may allow a love that never gave flight to finally grow in the sun.WARNING: INCOMPLETE. Yes, there is a pretty solid beginning. Several scenes are barely more than notes. Still got some sweet stuff if you're looking for some lovely Talia/Susan fluff, with plenty of feels on the side. Ideally it would be a multiple chapter fic, but all you get is basically the very beginning with extremely loose notes on how it would end. Sorry. :)
Relationships: Delenn & Susan Ivanova, Susan Ivanova/Talia Winters
Comments: 4
Kudos: 10





	Coming Full Circle

Delene met her aide’s gaze, and smiled as the young woman’s mouth became set in a line from the shouting that could be heard through the closed the door. 

“Do not fear,” she told the young Minbari mildly. “While our new commander of the rangers is fearsome, she is not truly angry. Merely...annoyed at the difficulties of taking over a new command.”

The shouting grew again, and the aide nodded slowly. “If you say so, Madame President.”

The door opened a moment later, and Delene waited for the harrassed occupants to flee before coming in herself. 

“Captain,” she said, giving the glowering human a broad smile. “You are enjoying yourself I see.”

“If you call sorting out problems that shouldn’t be mine to solve enjoying myself, then yes I suppose I am,” was groused back as Susan sat back in her chair. “Not to disparage your work, Delene-”

“But I am not perfect. There are things that you will do better than I, and things that I did better than you ever will. Diplomacy and tact, for example.”

“...yes.” A wry smile. “Was there something I could do for you? Or were you just checking up on me again to make sure I hadn’t strangled any of your favorites?” Motioning to a seat. 

“A visit would be pleasant, but I am afraid this is work.” Seating herself gracefully. “You have received a message from someone named Ironheart.”

“...I haven’t heard that name in a long time.” Quietly. “What did the message say?”

“This is it.” Handing over a smooth, iron coin. 

Ivannova accepts it, carefully weighs it in the palm of her hand. “What is it?”

“I was hoping you would know.” Delene lifts her brows gracefully.

“I don’t.” Handing it back.

“Keep it. Perhaps it will come to you later.” Getting up. “You seem very busy-”

“I am.” Weighing the coin in her palm once more. “I’m sorry to have wasted-”

“I am sure it will become clear in time. It usually does. And...” Smiling. “I look forward to hearing of it when you do. Good day, Captain.”

“Good day, Madam President.”

On impulse, the Captain tucked the coin in her pocket, and promptly forgot about it. And there is stayed until she was finally alone in her quarters and emptying her pockets for the night. 

The coin clinked heavily on the table, catching her attention. Picking it up again, sorted out from a day’s worth of acquired detritus, she ran her thumb over the image sunk into the center of it's solid weight. A heart. And finally did the thing that had occurred to her earlier but she would never attempt while others were present. 

She reached out to it with her mind.

-090-

“Captain??”

Susan slowly peeled one eye open and wondered why she was lying face-down on her bed, still fully-dressed. 

The communicator chirped again from the bedside, and groggily she reached over to hit it from her inelegant sprawl on the bed.

“Ivannova, go.”

“Captain...is everything alright?”

“Why?” Instantly suspicious.

“Sir...you’re an hour late for your first meetings this morning, and we’ve been trying to raise you on the com the whole time.”

“What?!” Sitting up abruptly, she sees the coin. And it all comes crashing back. 

“Get me the President.”

“Captain? But you-”

“Fifteen minutes, my office, or your ass is mine.”

“...yes ma’am.”

-090-

Delene was less amused than the day before. The negotiations she was yanked so unceremoniously out of by the Captain of the Ranger's assistant were at a delicate stage, surely it could wait-

The ashen faced young man had assured her that no, it could not. Which is how she found herself once more entering Susan’s office, where a great deal of shouting was going on. 

“Yes, I know it's last minute! Yes, I know that means I will miss meetings and functions and whatever the hell else there is going on the next week or so! Yes, I know that will be an inconvenience! It's still happening! A ship, fully fueled and staffed and ready for possibly a mission a few months long, in less than an hour. Go!”

“I take it the coin finally yielded something to you?”

“Oh yes. A destination. And a...promise.”

“A promise?”

“Of...a gift. Or some such. It's...hard to say.” Quiet for a moment, then. “I think you should come as well. Or at least, he asked for you to come.”

“Ironheart.”

“Hm. And Lyta, apparently.” 

“...we had wondered where she disappeared to. To Ironheart?”

“Yes, it would seem so.”

“And you are going.”

“I am.”

“Whether or not...”

“I would prefer it if you came, I think it may be important. But if you can’t I’ll understand.”

“...you do believe that, don’t you?” Considering. “I will come. If Lyta and Ironheart are up to something, we should know about it. And it would be rude to refuse a personal invitation.”

“Very good. I’ll see you on the ship, then?”

“Yes, have your assistant send mine the details. I will be there within the hour, as I do not wish any of the rather creative invectives I happened to overhear to be enacted if I am late.”

“...a wise precaution, Madame President.”

-090-

The journey was long.

“You’re sure this is the right coordinate?” Delene asked as she studied the star map.

“Yes,” Ivannova agreed from beside her at the table.

“This is beyond where we have thoroughly explored on our maps before,” the Minbari woman noticed with interest. “But you are certain it is safe?”

“That, or it's the perfect trap,” Susan replied quietly. “The thought did occur to me, but...not many people know about Ironheart. Or what happened on Babylon 5. Whoever sent the message did. And a few other things. So I’m inclined to believe the rest of it, for now.”

“And you, who hate psychics, you want to put yourself in their reach because...”

“Because...I believe him when he says it's important, and it's my job. Besides, I would never hear the end of it if I sent you and something went wrong. And there’s something else.”

“What?”

More quietly. “...I suspect Lennier is with them.”

“How?”

Blah blah blah.

-090-

The planet is rough and wild, its edges barely tamed by the beginnings of civilization. They are welcomed from the surface, and offered safe passage in their transport to meet with their leaders. The ride down is quiet, and Susan happily steps aside as Delenn takes charge. 

They are greeted upon exiting by three familiar faces. 

Lyta and Lennier frame the tall and imposing Ironheart, in physical manifestation no less and seeming in complete control of his abilities.  
Greetings, etc. Why have you called us? Etc. 

There was a Telepath War, in which the PSI Corps is destroyed not only physically but the people’s trust in it. It's been ten years since that ended, and telepaths are now quietly trained by their family, in special academies, or leave for the telepath sanctuaries. But something else is wrong. Rogue telepaths? Those training their abilities to kill others? He wants to give Susan and Delenn personal telepaths, trained and strengthened by him, to protect them from Telepathic harm. They won’t read people without consent, etc etc, Delenn agrees to think about it. Asks to speak to Lennier. Ironheart grants it, then asks Susan,

“Walk with me?”

“Of course.”

He leads her to a set of windows overlooking a garden. It seems a paradise below, one where technology is in perfect harmony with the world around it. 

“I know we never formally met before,” he said in his deep, resonant voice. “My sole trip to Babylon 5 was not a pleasant one. But we do share a bond.”

“Talia.” Quietly, not looking at him.

“Yes, Talia.”

“Bester-”

“I know.”

“...how could you not know then?”

“I did.”

“...how?”

“The first time I touched her mind when I arrived on the station, I knew. Could sense it, hiding in the shadows, peering like a thief in the night through half-drawn shades.”

Coming to a dead stop. “Then why...?” Anger flushing her face and coloring her words.

“Didn’t I save her?”

“Yes!”

“...I did.” Nodding to a figure in the gardens below.

-090-

Delenn stood beside her favorite student and watched him carefully out of the corner of her eye. He stood straighter, firmer, as though more sure of himself than ever before. Others came to speak with him, quietly, seeking his opinion or orders. Replies were given calmly, firmly, and often with a kind smile. 

When the last one left, he said, “I try to remember, when others are not as quick or as able or as independent as I would like, how patient you were with me when we first met. How you led me and others with serenity and grace, and how effective it usually was.”

“Usually?” She teased gently, pleased to see he was not yet immune to embarrassment as his head dipped to the floor.

“Well, I-”

“It is alright, Lennier. You are pleased, then, with your work here?”

“Very.” A broad smile. “The telepaths are building a community of harmony here, Delenn. One which I have every confidence will succeed. But they are serious about the threat against you, and Captain Ivannova.”

“I believe you. Who have they chosen to come and protect us?”

“They have not. Ironheart and Lyta agreed that you needed to be comfortable with whoever it is that you take, and so you will be allowed to choose from among those who wished to go.”

“How very generous of him.”

“However...there is another reason that he called you here.”

“Oh?” Something in the shift of his tone causes her to pause, and he looks her in the face with an uncomfortable frown. “What is it?”

“Talia Winters.”

-090-

The story was almost too fantastical to believe, but difficult to ignore with the woman standing across the room, calmly sipping her drink as she laughed with a small group of others at a table. 

“Are you alright?” Delenn asked before she could consider the wisdom of the words, but to her surprise her companion just shrugged.

“I don’t know,” Susan admitted, hands folded in her lap and an untouched cup of coffee in front of her. That was perhaps more alarming than the hard line of her mouth or the way the muscle in her jaw jumped every few minutes. Ivanova never turned down a cup of coffee, and Delenn needed only to smell the enticing brew to know it was likely excellent. “How should I be? The only thing that could shock me more would be finding out Marcus is also still alive. Or perhaps my father.” A half a laugh, “As far as all three go, I think either one of them would have been easier to deal with. Pop Marcus’ cherry, explain to him how he would always be dear to me, but that I have a ‘type’ now and he wasn’t it. Send him on his way to someone who could actually make him happy. For my father...a few weeks of being with him, really being with him. Talking. Listening. Just...a handful of memories together that aren’t full of regret from fighting or butting heads. But Talia...”

Delenn put a careful hand on one tense shoulder, and murmured, “I never told anyone what we...spoke of...during the festival. Not even John.”

“I know.” Taking a deep breath. “I knew...that it would be safe with you. It's why I told you.”

“It’s been more than twenty years.”

“Believe me, I know.” Taking a deep breath, eyes wandering towards the table, the blonde woman with a few soft streaks of grey in her hair and with a smile still as beautiful as ever. “Also that she doesn’t remember any of it.”

It was the best he could do, Ironheart explained as they watched the achingly familiar figure walk below. And it began with a hidden compulsion. 

She had to come to him, he explained quietly as Susan stuffed shaking hands in her pockets and tried to pretend the wind hadn’t just been knocked from her lungs. It wasn’t safe for him to come to her, so he had to wait for her to come to him. 

It took years. 

Control was strong, much stronger than any of them anticipated. Which was, unfortunately, his fault. To maintain the compulsion, the link, he strengthened her abilities. It was the gift he gave her, upon leaving. Or one of them. 

One of the others was a gift that he took. 

It is amazing, he mused as he pretended to ignore the obvious emotional turmoil of his companion, how very like computers brains actually are. And you could consider what the PSI Corps did to me as...expanding my data drives. I was able to make a copy of her mind, her memories, everything, and carry it with me.

Then she’ll remember me, Susan said, the words slipping out with an almost desperate edge of hope.

No. 

Silence reigned for a time, Ironheart directing his gaze to the sky as the Captain quietly wiped away budding tears. 

Why not?

The question signaled that conversation could begin again. 

Because like a computer...there can be damage. Data corrupted. Files...memories...lost. Control was no easy beast to capture and conquer. It took almost ten years for the compulsion to drive her here, to us. It took another five to finally root out every trace of her. We had to go slow, to be careful with Talia’s mind. Breaking her, rendering her to be a vegetable or a...a child trapped in an adult’s body for the rest of her natural life was the last thing we wanted. 

And that’s why she can’t remember.

In a way, yes. It took six tries to transfer her memories back to herself, the first three because Control was not as thoroughly wiped out as we assumed and the last three because I didn’t know...entirely what I was doing.

Why? 

Ironheart looked down at the woman, at the pain her eyes, and sighed.

You want to know why I would do this if I loved her?

Yes.

Because...because I did not know what was I doing. What was going to be required. What I was demanding of her. Foolishly, arrogantly, I thought...I can save her. And it will be worth whatever cost I must pay. Whatever cost she must pay. 

Ah. And has it been worth the cost?

I wish I knew. 

Delenn’s gaze was too kind, too understanding, and Ivanova looked away as her throat began to close up. 

“Excuse me. May I sit?”

Both women looked up to see Lyta waiting patiently by the empty seat at their table. 

“Of course,” Delenn answered for them both, Ivanova finally raising her cup to her lips. 

It was, the Captain realized with a start, excellent coffee. 

“I hope you are both happy with your accommodations,” the telepath said as she motioned for one of the servers to bring her a drink.

“They are quite comfortable,” the President replied amiably. “This is a very impressive place you and Ironheart have built. Beautiful. Practical. Useful. I hope you are happy with it.”

“I am,” Lyta replied, and for the first time that either woman could remember smiled a real, unshadowed smile. “My only regret is that Byron didn’t live to see this, but...I think he would be proud. Proud that our people have finally found a home, a place to live in peace and not be subject to the rules and whims of those who fear and misunderstand us.”

“I think so as well.”

“I need to offer you my condolences as well,” Lyta went on, accepting her glass as the server returned. “John Sheridan was a good man. A...kind and honest man. I know he and I bumped heads at times, but...I appreciate everything he did for me. For us.” Waving a hand around. “We will never forget who he was.”

“Thank you.” A quiet nod.

Lyta’s eyes flick to Susan, who is staring at something just part her shoulder. Then those intense, blue eyes abruptly jerked back to the table, to their companion. The muscle in the strong jaw jumped, and coffee was quickly gulped to hide a half-scowl. 

“She knows,” Lyta said, once the mug was safely back on the table.

Ivanova went completely still as she said in a too-quiet voice, “Who knows what?”

“Talia Winters,” Lyta replied simply. “She knows that you and Delenn are from Babylon 5 and that she knew both of you as more than simple acquaintances from your time there. She also knows the basic history of Babylon 5, your places within that history, and a little bit of where and how she fits in to it all. Also about her subsequent ejection from the station, due to Control taking over her mind.”

“Is that all?” Ivanova, darkly, scowl no longer hidden. Pointedly not looking back at the woman that Delenn now sees is staring curiously at their table. 

“Also, she wants to meet you.” Glancing at Delenn. “Both of you, but mostly just Susan.”

“Why?”

“...I shared a few memories with her.”

“Which memories?” Dangerous edge to her voice.

“A glimpse I caught of you earlier the day we met on Babylon 5. It was in the Zocalo, speaking to the original Talia Winters across the hall. And then...of when Control took over.”

“...and that’s it for me, folks.” Rising quickly. “I’ll be in my quarters.”

“Captain-”

“Best to leave it for now, Lyta.” Delenn, putting a hand on her arm. “Captain Ivanova does better with surprises when she has time to process them alone first. And you have dropped a rather large pile of them on us today.”

“...of course.”

“However, if you have nothing else to do, I would like to meet Miss Winters now. Before she decides to follow Captain Ivanova as I suspect she is considering doing so.”

“Are you sure you aren’t a teep, Madame President?”

“Quite.” A small smile. 

-090-

Susan paced the confines of her well-appointed rooms, her assistant sent off to fetch her something to eat and another pot of that admittedly excellent coffee and her bodyguards set to watching outside. They didn’t like that, leaving her alone in an unexamined room, but neither gave more than a token protest when she ordered them out. That she looked ready to commit a murder might have had something to do with it. 

It all tumbled one over the other. Thoughts. Feelings. What ifs and Might have beens and Whos to say and Who's to blame and...

Her door chirped.

“Come in,” she said, expecting her assistant. “And if you don’t have that coffee, Nazir, I’ll-”

“Not Nazir,” Delenn said as she paused on threshold. “Shall I assume that my presence is not wanted, then?”

“No, of course not.” The wind knocked from her sails. “Come in.”

“Well, it appears you are handling things better than I feared. Nothing is broken and your guards seem to be in one piece.”

“Is my temper that famous now?”

“No, and I did not truly believe you would harm either them or any blameless lamps. I am merely making conversation in the way of your humans.”

“You humans?”

“Us humans, then.” Taking a seat. “I spoke to her.”

“Who?”

“Taila Winters.”

A long silence. 

“Are you really going to make me ask?”

“Do you truly want to know?” Quietly understanding. “I spoke to Lyta. If this is...too much for you, you can retire to our ship. I will pick out our guards, and we’ll leave. You need not see her again.”

“I am not a coward.”

“No one said you were. But I think the only one not surprised by the...strength of your reaction to her was me.”

“Oh, but something small, something...weak wouldn’t have torn down a lifetime’s worth of prejudice between us,” Susan replied, staring off into space. “...no. No, I can’t do that. I can’t...leave without at least speaking to her once.”

“She was very much as I remembered her.”

“I see.”

“And she is one of the volunteers.”

“...what?” Surprised.

“To go with us, back to Minbar. Lyta said she has been restless this last year, and when the option came before even knowing who it was for she volunteered to go. When they told her who we were, she did not change her mind.”

“What did she say when you spoke to you?”

“Mostly she asked questions. She’s very curious about that time, on Babylon 5. I believe she feels the missing pieces in her mind even if she does not know what they are.” Amused. “She is also an avid coffee drinker, which surprised Ironheart as that was not a habit of hers before coming to the station. When they asked me about it, I admitted that it must have come from you, as you were the only person on the station that I knew of who had a reliable if dubious source of the drink.”

“Oh.”

“Lyta explained that sometimes when the mind forgets, the body remembers.”

“Did she?” Lost in thought.

“Mm.” Watching her friend. “She’s heard the speech.”

“What speech?”

“The ‘God sent me’ speech.” Smiling now.

“Oh, for...” Rolling her eyes. “You get carried away one time and-” Shaking her head. “I hate that speech now. Loathe it. The first time they asked me to repeat it, I was almost flattered. The fifth time it was getting old. I lost track around the 20th or 30th request, and I refuse to do it now. They have too many damned recordings of it as it is, and I won’t say it again.”

“She’s rather taken with it, apparently.” Smile growing.

“...of course she is.”

“...she’s also on her way to see you. Right now.” Guilty look.

“What?” Shock. 

“When we spoke,” Standing quickly. “I decided that it would probably be best to get this over with quickly. As humans say, like removing a band aid. If you truly were against seeing her, I would have left and met her in the corridor to stop her. But...you do want to see her, so you will.”

“And where are you going?”

“Somewhere else. Obviously I can’t stay here.”

“Why not?” Panicking a little. “I mean...why...why do you have to leave?”

“Certainly you don’t wish me to be here. Especially if...” Trailing off.

“Jesus, Delenn, I’m not going to...jump her.”

“Of course not. But she may be inclined to...jump you.” Susan really does look ready to panic now. “No, no she did not imply anything to me I was merely trying to lighten the mood.” Shaking her head. “Susan...do you want me to stay? Really?”

There is a knock at the door.

“Why did I think joining the Rangers was going to make my life easier?” Susan, under her breath.

“Now that I cannot say, because you truly should have known better than that.” Delenn smiling. “I will be in my quarters, and you are welcome to join me afterwards should you wish to talk. As well as that thoroughly locked away bottle I know you keep in your things. The gesture is appreciated, of course, but do not fear. No one will go in you rooms, peer through your things, and drink from a sealed bottle like a toddler.”

“...thank you.”

“Well, let’s wait and see how this goes, shall we? You may not when it is over.” At the door. She opens it, and it is Talia on the other side, holding a tray.

“Hi,” the blonde said with a careful smile. “Is this a good time, or...?”

“It is,” Delenn said quickly, drawing her into the room as Susan slowly stood. “Talia, may I present to you Captain Susan Ivanova, head of the Rangers? Susan...”

“I know who she is,” the russian cut in gently. 

“Of course you do.” Not missing a beat. 

“Did you happen to see my assistant in the hall?” Susan asked as she came around the couch carefully. “He was bringing me-” Her eyes fall on the tray, and taking it in for the first time. “...oh.”

“Yes, I did see him in the hall,” Talia replied, a touch brightly. “He seemed unsure whether or not it was...wise to knock, so when I offered to bring it for him he was eager to hand it over. I hope that’s alright.”

“It’s fine.” Taking it from her and setting it on a table. 

“I will leave you two to it, then,” Delenn said as she turned back towards the door.

“You aren’t staying?” Talia, with a touch of panic.

Susan laughs at the irony. 

“Don’t worry,” Delenn said as the Captain of the Rangers leaned against the table for support, wiping at her eyes. “She doesn’t bite, often. And if she does, I recommend you bite her back. That usually works best.”

“Is that from personal experience?” Talia asked dourly.

Delenn considered the question, then replied with a broad smile, “Yes, it is,” before she disappeared out the door. 

“Care to share the joke?” Talia asked as Susan wound down into hiccuping chuckles, taking a seat at the table and offering her guest the one opposite with a wave of her hand.

“You. Not dead. It's a helluva trick, you have to admit.” Pouring herself a mug of coffee from the pitcher on the tray. “Coffee?”

“Yes, please.” Settling in. “I...this is much...I’m not sure what I was expecting, but this wasn’t it.”

“I can drink to that.” Lifting her mug. “You...you look good for someone who was dead yesterday.”

“I wasn’t actually...”

“You were to me.” Quietly, seriously. Setting her mug down. “I watched you, my...friend, die. In front of me.”

“And then Control tried to kill you.” Quietly, not meeting her eyes.

“...yes, Control tried to kill me.” Clearing her throat. “I don’t...blame you for that. I know that it wasn’t...you.”

“Thank you.” Shaking her head. “I have no memory of it beyond what Lyta showed me, but...but I know that I...Control, I mean...hurt you that day. Hurt all of you. You found a traitor in a friend.”

“Yes, well...at least it wasn’t her fault. Your fault, I mean.” Looking down. “We’ve had those sort of traitors too, and it hurt much, much worse.”

“Captain Ivanova-”

“Susan.” Finally meeting her eyes. “Just call me Susan.”

“Susan.” Trying it out, a smile on her face. “So...we were...friends?”

“Yes, we were friends.” Her matter-of-fact Captain’s voice. 

“That seems very hard to believe, given your legendary reputation for hating telepaths.”

“...I don’t hate telepaths, I just don’t trust them. Mostly.”

“Then how were we friends?”

“Because...I trusted you.” A careful admission.

“...how did I manage that?”

“By being stubbornly persistent in the face of an extreme bout of hard-headed bitchiness,” Susan admitted ruefully. “I was...not kind, about a lot of things, you were...exceedingly gracious with my rude behavior and constant insults. You were even genuinely understanding when I finally told you why, which was far more grace than I ever would have extended to you had our situations been reversed.”

“So there was a reason, at least, you were so ‘rude’ to me?” Talia said with mock relief. “What was it? My devastating good looks?”

To her surprise, the Captain’s cheeks turned pink. 

“No,” the woman replied quickly, refusing to meet her eyes. “No, my mother...was a telepath. She was discovered when I was a child, and given the choice. The PSI Corps, or the shots. She had two children and a husband, and wouldn’t leave us. So she took the shots.” Closing her eyes for a moment. “I have never and will never forgive the PSI Corps for what they did to my mother.” Finally looking up. “Or to you.”

“I’m afraid I still don’t see how we became friends,” the telepath said as she looked away from the searing blue eyes, unable or perhaps unwilling to examine what lurked in their depths. “Uneasy acquaintances, perhaps, but...”

“We did avoid each other for awhile,” Susan admitted wryly. “But...there was this girl, on the station. She suddenly came into some very strong telepathic powers on the station, while getting caught trying to steal on the Zocalo. You immediately wanted to send her off to PSI Corps, get her the help and the security and safety you thought they still provided. I very stubbornly dug my heels in against it.”

“How? The law-”

“There are loopholes in the law. Such as legal proceedings needing to go through before even the PSI Corp can interfere with a prisoner. So I had her arrested for stealing. You were...not happy with me. Eventually, the girl discovered she had options. The Narn wanted her to help potentially breed telepaths of their own, the Minbari offered her sanctuary and training in her ability and a place of honor when she finished, and the PSI Corps of course wanted her immediately. She was strong, very strong.”

“What happened? I didn’t...manage to send them another victim, did I?”

“No, no...she chose to go with the then Ambassador Delenn, to Minbar. I saw her recently, she was doing quite well.”

“That’s...good to hear.”

“Because of the girl, we both had to be civil. And persuasive. And, afterwards, again with more grace than I likely deserved, you asked me out for a drink. As friends. To...show there were no hard feelings for what happened, because we both wanted what was best for the girl and even if you didn’t agree that her choice was the best one we both knew Delenn would see that she was alright.”

“And you accepted?”

“I insisted on something non-alcoholic, as I was about to go on duty, but yes. I did. About a week later, I felt I needed to return the favor. Sometimes a few weeks would pass, between drinks and every once in a while a meal, but...bit by bit, somehow, we became friends.”

“And you...trusted me.”

“I did, yes.”

“...do you know why I apparently have an addiction to coffee?” Pouring herself a second cup. “It’s apparently not something I had before heading to Babylon 5.”

“Hm, that might be my fault,” Susan admitted as she accepted a top off of her own mug. “I, uh...well, strictly speaking, it shouldn’t have been allowed on board, but I had an old friend on the crew who planted everything, and he smuggled on a coffee plant for me that took one tiny corner way in the back. He harvested the beans, I saw them properly roasted and ground, and we shared the bounty. He made a decent chunk selling it in bits and pieces to friends on the station, and I shared it with the few people I liked as I happily fed my own addiction.”

“And got me hooked in the process, apparently.”

“It is not my fault you started showing up later in the evening and I needed a pot to keep up with whatever ridiculous thing you wanted to talk about. You knew I had early rotation most days, Sullivan and Sinclair both preferred it that way.”

“So, I started coming to your quarters late at night? You didn’t mention that before.” Brows raised. 

“It was...” Trailing off, thinking. “Bester’s fault. Everything was that mad bastard’s fault, really. Should have killed him the first time he stepped on the station.”

“You don’t mean that.”

“No, but it would have saved us a great deal of trouble and pain.”

“It wouldn’t have saved me.”

“No, it wouldn’t have saved you.” Looking away. “Bester was tracking some telepaths. Ones that had run away from PSI Corps. We discovered, well, Sinclair discovered because I already knew about it whether or not I’d been officially told, that Dr. _______ was using Babylon 5 to move rogue telepaths to Ironheart. To help them escape in sort of a ‘space age underground railroad’ type set up.”

“I see.”

“Bester recruited you to help find and capture them. Then Dr. _____ came and told you the other side of the story. You were already...wavering in your devotion to the PSI Corps. After Ironheart, there were other...things. Clues, that all wasn’t what it seemed. You agreed to helped the telepaths escape. I’m still not sure what exactly you did to him, but he walked into the room, confronted you with them, and then left convinced that they were all dead with your help and certain of your continued loyalty.”

“And how did this lead to...?”

“That night, you showed up at my door just as I was about to go to sleep with wine and in need of a friend. I don’t turn friends away. You took off your gloves and your PSI Corps badge, we sat and enjoyed a very good red and talked...far too late.” Not realizing she’s smiling as she remembers it. Talia is very taken with it. “After that, you would show up...once a week, maybe twice, needing to talk. Except for a few rare exceptions due to early morning meetings with important people or once because I caught this unholy virus that was trying to kill me, we would be up half the night discussing whatever it was that was on your mind and drinking whatever you brought to share. After I realized I was no longer young enough to get away with being hungover the next day that often, we switched to coffee. Thus: your addiction.”

“I never invited you back to my quarters?”

“No. Well, that’s not entirely true. I did see your quarters, once. In passing, while walking with you to dinner so you could drop something off. A package or some such. They were...impressively compact. You said something about PSI Corps only paying out for P-8’s and higher for the nicer rooms. Not to brag, but I was the second in command on the station, and had one of the biggest private quarters as a result. I did tell you that if you ever wanted me to come to you, I would, but you made a comment about barely having room to move with only one person in the room, let alone two.” Shrugging. “We never talked about it after that. You just...always came to my rooms.”

“Did you ever...ask me to come over? To talk about...whatever?”

“No.” Tilting her head to the side. “But...occasionally you would show up after a spectacularly bad day, and usually with some story about hearing through the grapevine that I might need someone to rant at for a while.” Breaking into a wry smile. “Garibaldi and his big mouth.”

“Oh, good.” Looking relieved.

“Hm?” Glancing up at her.

“It just...sounded very one-sided for awhile. Our...friendship.”

“I’m sorry if I made it sound that way. It wasn’t.” Clearing her throat. “We were...friends. Good friends. It was extremely hard to lose you how we did, and when we did.”

Talia cracks a smile. “I want to ask a question, but I’m not sure I’ll like the answer.”

“I don’t promise I will answer.” Quietly.

“True.” Considering. “Why were you scowling at me earlier? If we were friends?”

“...do you want me to be honest or to tell you a pretty lie?”

Talia considers that for a long time. “Honesty,” she finally decides.

“If we were friends,” Susan repeated carefully. “And that sums it up right there doesn’t. We. You and I. Except...you aren’t the woman I watched die over 20 years ago. You’re close. You’re...almost her. But there are differences. And while I know it isn’t fair...I’ve lost a lot of friends over the years, and one very good friend recently. Dealing with this: finding you, here, alive...it wasn’t what I thought I was getting when I agreed to this trip. It was a surprise, and not a pleasant one at first.”

“So I’m...not your friend.”

“...no. Not yet.” Looking away. “I’m not sure we can be.”

“Why not?”

“I’m leaving in a few days. Building a friendship takes time, and I’m a terrible penpal.”

“There’s an easy fix for that.”

“And what’s that?”

“Take me as your bodyguard. I’m one of the volunteers.”

“Why do you want to go? I was given a chance to look around a bit, this place is practically a paradise. And while I can promise that if you go me with your quarters on Minbar will be nicer than the ones you had on Babylon 5, that’s only when we’re home to enjoy them. I travel a great deal, and star ships are always cramped for space as are the rooms people typically like to put Rangers in. They don’t like us out in the open too much, I think we remind them too much of war.”

“Comfort isn’t everything.” Shrugging. “I don’t know. The last few years I’ve been...looking for something.”

“Such as?”

“I wish I knew. I just feel like...this isn’t my place. Its not where I’m meant to be. Besides, paradise gets pretty boring sometimes without someone to share it with.”

“What about Ironheart?”

“What about him?”

“I know you and he were once...together.”

“We were, once. But while he is dear to me, I have no interest in him like that.” 

“Then you have no...family, to hold you here?” Quickly adding, “I know you don’t have any biological family. We talked a lot about how you lost your parents as a baby, and grew up in the PSI Corps once your abilities were discovered. But you also said people sometimes...found families. Unofficial ones. You haven’t-?”

“No.” Simply, shortly. 

“I see.”

“So? Can I go with you?”

“...can I think on it awhile?”

“Is this so you can think of several logical and ironclad reasons why I can’t go?”

“It’s so I can decide whether or not I can stand to see the face of someone I watched die twenty years ago every day.” Quietly.

“...that’s fair.” Rising abruptly. “I’ve taken enough of your time. And your coffee. Should I have them send you another pot, or...?”

“No, thank you.” Rising as well. “I’ll...let you know. Assuming I haven’t put you off it completely-”

“No.” Clearing her throat, Talia clarified, “I still want to go. Please let me know.”

“Ok.” Watching her leave. 

She goes to Delenn’s rooms, and despite very much wanting to, does not get thoroughly drunk. She does, however, stay very very late in which they talk about Babylon 5, and Sinclair and Sullivan and their friendship and Talia. Talia who isn’t dead but isn’t quite the same and...

“She looks like she’s hardly aged a day,” Delenn murmured over her tea a touch enviously. 

“Don’t remind me,” Susan muttered with a wry scowl. “I hate myself enough every morning when I look in a mirror.”

“Now that is ridiculous,” the Minbari shot back with a smirk. “You haven’t gained so much as an ounce, and I bet that uniform you wore during the War of the Shadows would still fit perfectly if you put it on.”

“None of which has anything to do with the grey in my hair and the lines on my face,” her companion laughed as she poured herself another mug of coffee.

It was very late when they finally retired, Delenn to her bed and Susan to the couch she sat on because trying to remember the way to her rooms seemed silly when she was this punch-drunk tired. 

Morning came far too quickly, and with it an annoyingly chipper Delenn.

“You can’t possibly be that awake,” Susan grumbled from where she lay flat on her back. “I know how late you were up. It's how late I was up, and I feel like someone dragged me backwards through a trash compactor.”

“I find myself needing less rest to feel able to face the day the older I get,” Delenn said in passing as she opened the door to send her assistant for food. “It does, occasionally, have its uses.”

“Ugh.”

“I suggest you try and make yourself presentable, we do have meetings to attend in an hour or so. And I took the liberty of ordering more of that excellent coffee for you and having your assistant fetch a clean uniform for you. The bathroom is yours if you need it, I will be checking my messages in the next room.”

“Hm.”

It was Delenn’s amused chuckle as she left that finally spurned the Captain from her spot on the couch, fingers tugging at the buttons of her wrinkled shirt with her coat already discarded to one side. She had an undershirt on (she always had an undershirt on, a habit drilled into her by a very embarrassing experience her first year as a soldier) and used the mirror on one wall to finger comb her hair into a pretense of orderliness. 

The door chirped its warning that someone outside wanted to enter a moment later, and she called, “Enter,” without thinking. 

It was her her assistant and Delenn’s, one with an armful of clothes and the other a tray full of food and no coffee. She stared at the spot the steaming pitcher should be, and then back up at the young man. His eyes eventually drifted down to the tray, and immediately realized his error. 

“I’ll be right back, Captain,” he promised, setting the tray to the side and hightailing it out at speed.

“Yes, you will,” she muttered as she accepted the stack of clothes from her assistant. “And you go with him. You should know better by now.”

“Yes, sir.”

Susan compared the pants she wore to the ones in the stack, and decided to forgo that change. The clean shirt she did slip on, but neglected to button as she took the comb her assistant had thoughtfully brought (perhaps there was hope for the young man after all) and set to untangling the more manageable of the knots her hair had worked itself into. So when the door chirped again and she called, “Enter,” she didn’t bother to see who it was. “______, pour a cup and start listing what needs doing today. And if it isn’t piping hot, your gut will be garters-”

“Um-”

Quickly the Captain turned to be confronted by one poleaxed Talia Winters.

“Oh.” Lowering her hand with the comb. “I’m sorry, I thought you-...was there something you needed, Miss Winters?”

“Yes.” Jerking her eyes up from the bountiful cleavage on display. “I was looking for the President, but I must have-”

“No, I am here,” Delenn said as she exited the back room, neatly put together as always. “Susan, how many times must I remind you that as the Captain of the Rangers, a little decorum would go a long way?” Teasing. 

“It’s your private quarters, I should be allowed to look however I want,” the human groused back as she grabbed her uniform jacket off a chair and stalked towards the bathroom nonetheless.

“Don’t mind her,” Delenn told Talia as the woman quickly smoothed away the somewhat dazed expression on her face. “Captain Ivanova is usually rather testy before her morning coffee, and especially when she is short on sleep.”

“Oh. Oh....so you and she are...” Trying to hide the strained expression on her face.

“Hm?” Somehow catching Talia’s drift. “Oh, no.” Laughing. “Very good friends, but nothing more. We were up far too late last night talking, and she ended up sleeping on the couch. I offered to let her share the bed, but she seems convinced she will fall off it in the middle of the night.”

“I have before,” Susan grumbled as she exited the bathroom, entirely put together and not a hair out of place. “What did I miss?”

“Talia was momentarily convinced you were my lover,” Delenn replied before their visitor could open her mouth. “But I have set the record straight.”

“Oh, god no,” the Captain said she straightened her coat sleeves. “No offense, Delenn, you’re pretty but I have a strict no dating anyone John Sinclair was involved with policy.”

“...you actually have that policy?” Delenn, giving her a sharp look.

“...yes.” Suddenly feeling as though she’s on thin ice. 

Delenn takes a deep breath. “Is this involving his first wife?”

Susan doesn’t answer, and turns to Talia instead. “We’re probably boring you, and I’m sure you have things to do, so what was it you needed from Madame President?”

Talia takes the hint. Delenn shoots Susan a look that promises this discussion is not over. 

“Yes, I was sent to see if the President, or you Captain Ivanova, wanted to make a choice for your guard yet? We are all free of duties, and at your disposal to answer questions or assist you in anyway.”

“I was very impressed with Mr. Rutegar,” Delenn said as she loftily brushed between them. “I will find him where we first met?”

“Yes, along with all the others if you change your mind.”

“Very good. Captain Ivanova, we will meet later to...discuss things.”

“Of course, Madame President.” Watching Delenn leave, frowning at her back. “Oh, I’m in so much trouble later.”

“Are you sure you aren’t married to her?”

“Positive.” Giving Talia a shrug. “But anything involving John’s first wife is a touchy business. To be fair, he really botched the whole situation entirely on his own and she had every right to be angry. The fact that she’s still angry nearly 20 years later and is going to take it out on me isn’t.”

“Shall I lead you back to the room where the others wait so you can pick who you want to get to know?” 

“You’ve changed your mind, then?” Surprised.

“...I thought you didn’t want-”

“Hm, well, life is pain. Avoiding it generally doesn’t do much to actually keep it away, it just...delays the inevitable. And generally makes it worse. The better question may be: are you sure you want to be around me?”

“Pardon?”

“My job is neither easy nor safe, Miss Winters. Oh, we aren’t in firefights every day but it does happen. Rangers rarely get holidays or time off or an ounce of privacy or a life outside of what we do.” Shrugging. “And I am not always an easy person to get along with. You’ll need to learn to speak Minbar, if you don’t already, to keep up with what happens on the ship. And you’ll need to be ready to turn your hand to whatever needs doing at the time. There is no room for wasted space when we travel, so everyone has to be willing and able to fill more than one roll.”

“I’m ready.”

“Well...let’s have you follow me around for a few days before you say that. In fact, who do I need to speak to for permission to conduct drills aboard our ship in your area? If you’re still eager to go after 12 hours of maneuvers in a Whitestar, and up at dawn again tomorrow for the time...it might work out after all.”

“And if the President conveniently forgets what she wants to talk about because you simply aren’t available...all the better?”

“Well...one can always hope.” Holding out an arm. “Lead the way, Miss Winters.”

“Yes, Captain Ivanova.”

-090-

Delenn did not forget, and Susan should have known better than to hope that might be the case. She did, however, get a reprieve for three days and had nearly put the incident from her mind when she found the Minbar woman waiting in her quarters after another day of drills above the planet.

“Madame President,” she said as she unbuttoned her uniform jacket and tossed it over a chair. “To what do I owe the honor?”

“You have been avoiding me, Susan,” Delenn replied mildly. 

“Avoiding? No, I’ve been making sure Talia bloody Winters knows what she’s getting herself into.” With a touch of admiration. “She’s kept up better than I would have guessed. I knew she wasn’t a shrinking violet, but you never really know how someone is going to handle being on a spaceship turning end over end until they’ve done it.”

“I am pleased with my choice as well. Mr. Rutger is not only proficient in several languages, he is excellent at diplomacy and has proven himself an excellent conversationalist.”

“Good.”

“Now, we will discuss why you have a policy about not getting involved with anyone John Sheridan previously was with.”

Well, she may have hoped, but she hadn’t held her breath.

“You recall Captain Lochley?” she asked as she settled into her chair.

“Hm, very well, yes.” Dryly. 

“When John took his first command, I was one of the younger officers aboard. We were in port for a short layover on earth, and (somehow a story about how she flirted with Lochley, who then revealed she’d just gotten divorced from Sheridan. Entirely put her off anyone John had been with before ever again). And that’s it.”

“She was a fine Captain, of course, but I do not think I will ever be able to like that woman.”

“She’s a general now.”

“I know. And I believe she hates it as much as you did.” Smiling.

“Which pleases you?”

“Hm, it does bring me...some small measure of satisfaction.”

“Delenn, I don’t think I realized how petty you could be before.” Smiling a bit.

“Well, as they say, I am ‘only human’.” Toasting her with her tea. “So, are you done trying to drive Talia away? We do need to return, it will take at least a week to get back and the messages about meetings that have been changed do to our impromptu vacation are getting increasingly...desperate.”

“If she’s determined to come along, I’ll let her.”

“Good. I think it will be good, for both of you.” Touching her cheek.

“Maybe.”

-090-

And so...a long slow burn to completion. At least a few trips down jealousy lane. Lots of private moments together. Sharing quarters on Starships, and attending meetings and whatnot. Quiet breakfasts together, at least a few close calls with attackers of various sorts, and of course a big show-down with whoever the big bad guy is. 

But...I don’t want to write anymore of this. So this is it for now. 

Tata.


End file.
